(A continuation of the Mothers Class on 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8)
Click HERE for previous lesson
...
Love
is not easily angered:Contrary to what
many might think... anger is not necessarily sin. Ephesians 4:26,27
"Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your
anger and give no opportunity to the devil. " Anger isn't the
sin, but it is an open door that many of us are guilty of passing
through to sin. Being angry over an injustice is not the same as
being snippy impatient, or irritated. This chronic-type of anger is
a strong symptom that our mind is out of alignment and we are in need
of an adjustment. Look for the root of the problem. Is it improper
planning on our part? What is the trigger? Do we enjoy being angry?
Do we wear it like a battle scar or see it as our rightful attitude
for all our hurt and pain we've had to endure? Or perhaps it is just
what we have practiced for so long, we don't know anything different.
Maybe
it was how we were raised and we think angry parents are normal
parents.
Whatever the cause, the prescription is more time in God's word.
His Word provides the mental adjustment we need. Someone once said to
me, "A cup of sweet water, no matter how hard it is bumped,
won't spill bitter water." When we have filled our mind with
God's good word, it is what comes out in these trying moments.
We
miss out on so much when we let resentment and bitterness steal our
joy. Love is strong... it doesn't allow anger to rule our emotions
or dictate our responses to trying situations. "Bite your
tongue" has been around for a while, but seriously, it is good
advice for someone who is just beginning to learn how to give up
their sinful anger. Restrict the amount that you allow yourself to
say. Don't allow yourself to say anything when you can feel your
anger begin to bubble-up. Rarely do we regret being silent, but very
often we feel great remorse over the things which we have said in a
moment of anger.
When
dealing with our kids, it's good to teach them that being angry isn't
the sin. It is what we choose to do when we're angry that may cause
us to sin. If we are so angry that we seek to harm someone, then we
are sinning. Remaining calm yourself goes a long way with teaching
your child how to deal with anger. Speak truth to them. "I saw
what Shane did to your toy, and I see that it made you mad, didn't
it?" Allowing your child to feel the anger without encouraging
him to sin helps them get used to a pattern and allows them to learn
how to deal with the anger. If they are in the wrong, we should
correct using discernment. If the situation is still very emotional,
you might choose to have your child sit away, alone for a few minutes
to calm down. We want our kids to be receptive to what we have to
say to them. Talking to them while they are blinded by an emotion like anger would be useless.
If we simply push morality by emphasizing our child's right to justice, we miss a great opportunity
to lead our kids to show compassion and grace where someone might not
deserve it. Our example lies with how Christ deals with us. "...but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 ESV) We don't wait
until someone makes us happy to forgive... when you can, take the opportunity of an offense to teach your child about grace. (Keep in mind that your first priority is to protect your child and keep them safe. Sometimes an offense just needs to be handled by the adults. Be discerning.)
Prov.
14:29 Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who
has a hasty temper exalts folly.
Prov.
15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger
Prov.
15:18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger
quiets contention
Prov.
16:32 Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who
rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
Prov.
19:11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to
overlook an offense.
Love
keeps no record of wrongs:
From
Dr. Lockwood's commentary on 1 Corinthians: "Love carries 'no
chip on its shoulder.' It does not nurse a grudge. It forgives,
even as Christ has forgiven (Eph. 4:32)." It is not God's way
to remember our sins. He forgets, on purpose, and does not hold that, which he has every right to, against us.
In
our role as parents, we must remember not to take our children's
offenses personally or to keep track of them. Certainly, we want to
be familiar with their weaknesses and areas of temptation, but this
isn't the same as keeping a record of their wrongs. It isn't always
pleasant to be the punching bag. As our kids grow, their capacity to
offend grows as well. They can become proficient in "pushing
our buttons".
When we offer immediate forgiveness to our child
we are revealing God's love to them. Let me say that again: When we offer IMMEDIATE forgiveness (meaning we don't make our kids "pay" for our forgiveness... we give it freely), we are revealing God's love to them. It is important not to confuse forgiveness with permissiveness. A consequence for disobedience is not the same as keeping record of wrongs.
Sibling
relationships offer a wonderful arena for our kids to practice this
act of forgiveness. I often quote these verses from the Proverbs for
my kids as a reminder. Learning to sidestep an insult or an
offense benefits not only the offender, but also the offended.
Everyone wins and a relationship is strengthened.
Prov.
10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses
Prov.
12:16 The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent
ignores an insult.
Prov.
17:9 Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a
matter separates close friends.
Love
does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth:
As children of God, the Holy Spirit makes us to recognize the Gospel as truth, and so we no longer
tolerate unrighteousness. God's truth drives unrighteousness out.
Not only does love reject evil, it doesn't even want to hear about it
or be present around it. We should be nauseated at the sight of
wickedness. Instead, we are to put our minds to thinking about things
which are constructive and edifying. Finally, brothers, whatever
is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any
excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these
things. (Philippians 4:8 ESV)
Our
children can be godly. We can expect godliness from
our children. Praise them when you see correct behavior. Let it be
known that you are delighted with their obedience. Rejoice when they
speak God's Words of truth. Teach them to memorize His truths.
Hiding God's words in our heart is storing up for future temptations.
You can't expect to have the truth at a moment's notice if you
haven't first stocked up. Spend time with your children; spend time
together in God's Word.
Prov.
20:3 It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every
fool will be quarreling.
Prov.
21:21 Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life,
righteousness, and honor.
Prov.
24:17 Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and let not your heart
be glad when he stumbles,
Love
always protects:
Love
puts the needs of others before their own. The ESV translation of
the scriptures says, "Love bears all things..." Again we
see how patient and long suffering Love is.
Sometimes love shows itself not in what we allow our children to do, but
in what we don't allow them to do. As parents, we would put our life
on the line for our children, but sometimes we hesitate at the small stuff when it means
our kids might not like us very much. Being a parent is not for the
faint of heart! Many times we will be loathed for the firm stands
that we take. But we must remember who the parent is.
It is pretty
easy to tell a toddler, "NO!" when they are reaching for a
hot pan on a hot stove. We SEE the danger, we know exactly what
horrible outcome might occur. We parent boldly. But something seems
to happen as our children grow and they learn the fine arts of back
talk, sulking, and master manipulation. No one wants to be the "bad
guy"; But Love protects. Loving your child means placing age
appropriate boundaries around them and refusing to let them break
through even when they are trying really, REALLY hard.
I remember a conversation I had with my daughter when she was
about twelve. The actual situation doesn't matter, the point is that
she wanted to tell me that my rules were too strict and that we
treated her like a baby by not giving her room to wander as she would
like. Instead of arguing with her I said something like this.
"Emily, These boundaries are around you to keep you safe. As
you grow, we will move some of the boundaries further out, but only
when we know it is safe. You can trust me. No matter how much you
struggle, I promise that I will never let go." She looked at me
kind of dumbfounded and through her tears I recognized a sort of
relief behind her eyes. Do not be fooled, children WANT you to
protect them. They just don't always realize it.
Side note: In order for us to protect our children, we must be
aware of dangers ahead. We should be thinking constantly, watching
constantly, and listening constantly. I have found that this is
nearly impossible. However, I have been blessed on several occasions
with friends who have seen or heard something that I missed. They
brought it to my attention and I have been so thankful for those
friends. When someone you trust comes to you with information that
can help you better protect your children, be careful not to resent
it or let your ego become bruised. A friend who is courageous enough
to show you your blind spots is a true friend indeed.
Prov.
12:23 A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools
proclaims folly.
Prov.
15:22 Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they
succeed.
Prov.
17:12 Let a man meet a she-bear robbed of her cubs rather than a
fool in his folly.
Prov. 22:3 The prudent sees danger and hides
himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.
Love
always trusts:
Love
isn't gullible, but rather trusts in what is true. Not that we always
believe other people, but we believe the faith, which has been given
to us through Christ, endures all circumstances. We trust God to be
God. Not some Disney version of what we want God to be, but the God
of the Scriptures. How do we know what that is? I'm glad you asked.
:) The answer is, read your Bible, attend Sunday School or at least
one Bible Study during the week. If you're not in a Bible Study
(especially if you attend St. John) ... start this week!! Learn to
read the Bible and to know what you believe and to trust what you
believe!
Teach
these truths to your children. Read to them the stories from God's
Word, so that they won't ever know of a time when they didn't know
who Jonah, Noah, or Daniel were. Give them that rich culture that
only life in the Scriptures can give. Teach them to trust in God's Word.
Prov.
3:3 Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them
around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.
Prov.
3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your
own understanding
Love
always hopes:
This
past week a young lady, from our congregation lost her battle with
cancer. She was just 22 years old. As Christians, we have the
blessed hope of our Lord and Savior to comfort us during our earthy
sorrows. This hope is that we will be with our Savior, and that all
sin, all sorrow, all heartache will end.
This
hope sustains us and encourages us. We know that we will be with
Christ for all eternity. Give this hope to your children as well.
Remind them each night as they lay their heads on their pillows that
they are a child of God. That He loves them and one day they will be
with him for all eternity. Let them get excited about being God's
child. The line "If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord
my soul to take." is often changed or omitted from the familiar
nighttime prayer for children. What a shame. There is so much
comfort in those words. In the Hymn, "I am Jesus Little Lamb."
the last verse proclaims a similar hope:
Who
so happy as I am,
Even
now the Shepherd's lamb?
And
when my short life is ended,
By
His angel host attended,
He
shall fold me to His breast,
There
within His arms to rest.
The
reality is that we will all pass from this earthly life, so ignoring
it to save a child's feelings is missing an opportunity to proclaim
the truth of the hope we have in Christ. Live boldly knowing that
your hope lies in Christ your Savior. The best is yet to come!
Prov.
8:17 I love those who love me, and those who seek me
diligently find me.
Prov.
8: 35 For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the
Lord.
Love
always perseveres:
Love
doesn't flee, doesn't leave. Love is committed and it follows
through. Unfortunately, we don't see enough of this characteristic
of Love. Instead we see... Love sticks around until something better
comes along... or Love sometimes tries, but if it gets too difficult,
it will leave. Not so with God's love. God's love is triumphant and
brave.
Have
you ever had a battle of wills with a two year old? So, now you get a
good idea of what "persevere" means. Holding fast to what
you know to be true. How tempting it is at times to want to throw in
the towel, give in...
I
had a conversation with my mom the other night. She mentioned how
some kids are just "easy". I thought it was quite ironic that she put me in that category. (I think love might be a little
forgetful too!) My memory of my childhood is that I was a bit of a
problem child, especially during my preteen years. I remember my
mother making difficult decisions about my punishments... which
usually meant she would be punished as well. I was pretty blatant
about my disobedience. Okay, I was truly a smart mouth, but my mom
held her ground. She was like a pit bull who refused to let me get
away with anything. It's THAT tenacity, that perseverance, that we
must have with our children. I don't think I was easy... I just think my
mom persevered early in my life and reaped the benefits as I got
older.
It
was through the tenacity of our savior, Jesus Christ, and His death
on the cross that we were brought to Love. His is a love that will
not let us go.
Romans
8:38,39 For
I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor
demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither
height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to
separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Prov.
16:6 By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for,
and by the fear of the Lord one turns away from evil.
Love
never fails:
Love
is strength. It fortifies us and pushes us closer to God. Love is
not weak, or puny. It will never collapse. It holds us forever.
Love
is faithful and confident. It is dependable and trustworthy. God's
love doesn't waver and doesn't shift. All through history from
creation to this present age we see God's faithfulness. What He says He will do, He
does. Emphasis on the "He does."
I know I beat this over and over again, but it is so important to
grasp that the work God does, HE does.. in us and through us. Even
for a moment, when we slip into the mindset that we are responsible
for doing anything good, we are relying on ourselves. YOU are not
strong. YOU are not faithful. YOU are not confident. Your
strength, confidence and faithfulness are found ONLY in the Love of
God; the Word of God; Christ Jesus.
This
is wonderful news for parents. I don't think any of us would claim
to know it all, have it all, or be it all... We are all too aware of
our shortcomings when it pertains to parenting. Take heart, because
Love never fails. Love's promises stand firm and hold
you up. You don't need to be puny, or weak. When you fail, return
to the one who doesn't. Repent, ask for forgiveness and take what He
promises to give you. His Love; His Grace; His forgiveness.
Prov.
14:27 In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his
children will have a refuge.
Prov.
18:10 The name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous man
runs into it and is safe.
Summary:
Christ
is our model for all that love is, does, and accomplishes. Yep, that
is the summary. Like I tell my 7th and 8th grade Sunday school
students... It all points to Jesus, always.
Assignment:
A
reminder for us that in Christ we can do all that He asks of us. It
is through the victory of the cross that we can Love.
Beloved, let us love one
another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God
and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because
God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that
God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through
him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us
and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God
so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen
God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is
perfected in us.
(1 John 4:7-12 ESV)
Can
I just say... John rocks :)
Read
daily and insert your own name (or the name of your child as you read
it to him/her) into the blanks
1
Corinthians 13:4-8
_________
is patient, __________is kind. _________ does not envy, __________
does not boast,
_________
is not easily angered, __________ keeps no record of wrongs.
__________ does not
delight
in evil but rejoices with the truth. ________always protects, always
trusts, always hopes,
always
persevere. _________ never fails
Feel free to email me with private questions, comments or clarifications. :) salliepool@yahoo.com
Basically, it contains the same three ingredients as most homemade laundry recipes:
Okay, so before I even started making my first batch of laundry soap, I gave thought as to what sort of container I would be storing the soap in. One person online specially bought a beverage dispenser for about $8.00... I wasn't about to do that, so I bought some cheap gallon sized beverages and saved the containers after the drink was finished off. (It was Sunny Delight, which I never usually buy, but it was the cheapest drink and on sale. My kids were ecstatic.) **Arizona Tea containers are very strong as well.
